Den Before and After

The den has always been a sanctuary sort of place for me - in every home where I've ever lived.  It is a place to gather and relax.  It is a place for chilling out and regrouping and refueling.  It is a place for leisure and sharing.  It is a place to plop down and prop your feet up.

One of the good things about the den in this house is that it was pretty much a blank slate.  There was no furniture in here and it simply needed a fresh coat of paint.  The only thing that was somewhat permanent was the television connection which determined what wall was set aside for that.

 The corner cabinet in the right hand side of the shot below is the first piece of furniture Mike's mom bought after she married.  The china cabinet on the left belonged to some relative of his.  The piece that the television sits upon was a gift from my great aunt.  The beautiful cross-stitched piece above the television was a gift from my Mom at Christmas.  I had fallen in love with the merlot silk drapes and got them for my dining room in my former house at Rover.  They have such a rich sheen and are decorated with soutache braid which forms an all-over diamond pattern.  They are the dominant color in the room because all of the furniture is some shade of beige.  So, I have a couple of pillows the same color and a chenille throw picks up the wine color as well.  Of course, I have the blue and white transferware and blue and white painted pieces in there, too.  So, this room has the deep relaxing rich shades of color.

The two wingback chairs were rescued from the dumpster about ten years ago by my friend Phyllis.  She was sorry that she hadn't been just a few minutes earlier taking her trash away because she could have asked the fellow for the sofa that went with them as well.  I bought the fabric for a song and my mother had them reupholstered for me as my Christmas and birthday gifts when I moved into the house at Rover.  So, none of the furnishings in this room have been big investments and almost every bit of the accessories have also been gifts.  That is decorating on a budget!  I love it.

 Sometimes I fear that this room is too dark because of the dark drapes and the porch sheltering the light from the windows.  Since the house faces east, the porch and the drapes protect us from hot morning sun in the mornings and fading.  But, it does prevent the light airy feeling that the kitchen provides.  I guess the trade-off of the relaxing feeling is a good one, though.  The dog painting hanging over Mike's recliner was rescued from the trash years ago.  One of the students in a class I was assigned as shared-teacher into was going to throw it away because it was just painted on cardboard and "wasn't all that good."  I asked him if I could take it because it made me smile.  It still does!  I wound up getting a pre-made frame and paid dearly for the mat and glass to preserve the free/trashed painting. 

Some folks - including my dear husband have mentioned how big the sofa is.  Well, I agree that it is a big old thing.  However, I am a couch lounger.  I shopped and shopped just to find the right one.  I wanted it to be wide enough to flop on and watch television or read if I so desired.  I also wanted it to be long enough to stretch out and nap on if the need arises.  It is a big old barge but it is a neutral color and has a nice curved back and interesting legs.  It allows me to wallow around when I want and has cuddled lots of cozy naps, too.

I didn't take the next picture from the same angle as the above photo.  I'll have to go back and photograph at some point from the above angle so that I can show off the beautiful bureau that sits beside the hearth.  This room really is as big as these photos show.  It is quite full of furniture but doesn't seem in the least bit crowded.  When all four children, their families, and our parents joined us to celebrate Christmas this past winter, we had plenty of space. 

 

Photos of the children anchor the wall on the end of the room.  Yes, that is a tiger-striped ottoman there.  It is my unexpected element in the room.  I knew I wanted an ottoman as a coffee table when I moved into the house at Rover so that it could double as seating when I had a large group of people.  It has served me well here, too.  The granddaughters love to climb on it or play round it or stand upon it as a stage.  I guess I just had to let my wild side roar a little bit.  I hate that the beautiful crown molding doesn't show up as much as the wooden floors do in these shots.  They combine to really make the room seem special - formal enough to elevate the scrappiness of the hodge-podge meshing of furnishings which were combined to make our home.  

Almost every room is a delicious amalgamation of our two homes - things don't match but, amazingly, they do seem to belong together.  Maybe our furnishings and home are simply a reflection of the union of the two of us.

Spring Storm

How can the temperature change so rapidly?  At the beginning of the week we were wearing shorts and sweating in near eighty-degree weather.  Yesterday and today we were shivering while wearing sweatshirts and warm jeans. 

This afternoon we also had a lightning and thunderstorm.  It seemed to come in waves - one bout after another.  First was simply thunder and a downpouring of rain.  Then, came a bit of calm followed by loud pounding on our tin roof.  I looked out the window onto the deck and this is what I saw:

 There were just pellets of ice pouring down - no rain - just the ice. 

 In only a matter of seconds there were just little piles of ice all over the place.  I told Mike that I had never seen the like of it - this must be what happens when you see hail damage to vehicles and roofs. 

 Shortly afterward, rain also began to fall and then the precipitation all turned to rain.  Yet, below the patio tables the ice still lay for a bit looking like shattered glass.

I would never have believed it if I hadn't experienced it!

One of my RANTS!

Today I got another one of those email forwards which talks about how the illegal immigrants are corrupting America.  Those things and the ones which talk about how prayer is not allowed in school really irritate me because I know that they are not truthful. 

The complaint/plea was from an English teacher in California letting folks know about how awful the illegal immigrants behaved in her school and how they are sucking our tax dollars away from us and so on.  As a language arts/reading (English) teacher here in Tennessee, there are so many of this teacher's opinions and concepts which I agree with.  However, I also think we need to realize that less than 14% of the U.S. population was not born here (or are immigrants).  So, for about every 20 people here in the U.S. 3 of them are immigrants.  Less than 33% of the immigrant population here in the U.S. is here illegally.  So, only 33% of that 14% is here illegally.  Again, for every 20 people here in the U.S. one might be an illegal immigrant.  I think that instead of feeling animosity toward these folks who are simply striving for a better life for themselves and their families, we should be issuing a stronger penalty to those U.S. citizens who hire and protect those illegal immigrants.  (These statistics come from the Grant Marshall Survey which is an international one.)
Plus, our legislation also requires that after any immigrant has been here and enrolled in our school systems for at least a year, the student is required to take the same test printed in standard English as a student who was born and raised in our country.  The same test that is geared toward white American children of college educated parents who earn six figures and live in a metropolitan area.  Their test scores will also be used as an indicator of how well a teacher does his/her job, by the way.  It doesn't matter if the child reads and understands the standard English language, whether he/she had a nutritious breakfast the morning of the test, whether the child went to bed early enough to get 8 hours of recommended sleep, whether the child was witnessing fighting parents/siblings/neighbors, whether the child was feeling sickly, etc. or any other factor which is beyond the teacher's control but which might have an effect on that child's performance on that test.

In the schools where I have worked, the bigger problem with disrespect - students calling names and being rude to substitutes, student teachers, and even toward me - that bigger problem is not coming from immigrant children because we had very few in those schools but the unacceptable behaviors are coming from folks who are ill-informed or uninformed.  Yes, many of these rude students are enrolled in the free lunch program, fee waiver program, etc. and in all probability, about half of them are more economically sound than I am - having cell phones, parents driving nicer cars, having dirt bikes, video gaming systems, eating out more frequently, etc.  However, their attitude of entitlement is usually a result of their upbringing - an attitude fostered by their parents and indoctrinated by our culture setting what we think is normal and necessary. 

I could share time after time where a student is not performing up to expectations or is behaving in a rude manner and the parent comes in for a conference and defends the behavior or action for any number or reasons.  For example, just a couple of weeks ago we had such a conference with a parent who was tearful and at a loss for what to do next.  Yet, the child was carrying a cell phone in his pocket, was sleepy because he had been awake until after midnight playing video games on the computer, and it was the third time we had provided the web addresses for online textbooks and information which was available to the parent and child at home - because the parent claimed that the child did not bring home his books but could have accessed all the info needed from the home computer.  Again, a situation of believing in entitlement.  Plus, it was far easier for the parent to ignore the unacceptable behavior or not follow through with consequences because it would inconvenience the parent, too.

What has happened to our culture that so many folks believe they deserve something just because?  What happened to earning everything you have and fostering things with care?  What happened to the parent setting rules and following through with consequences when the child doesn't follow them - even if it was a headache and pain to follow through?  What happened to us simply being stewards and caring for what we are blessed to get - and feeling and expressing gratitude for getting it? 

Then again, are we willing to do away with these government programs if there is a need for even one-fourth of the children enrolled to get a meal so that they won't go hungry?  I think that until we are ready to look after those few who actually are hungry and need assistance by feeding them from our own pantry or sacrificing our own comfort level, we are going to have to accept that it is a system with flaws.  In some ways folks like the Amish or Mennonites who don't believe there is a need for insurance, government assistance, etc. have a really good system.  Yet, am I willing to embrace all those other demands of such a culture?  Do I want to do without electricity?  my nice truck?  my store-bought clothes?  my comfortable income?  my nice house?  much of my free time?  Do I want to give up many of the other luxuries I enjoy? 

Yes, I think we need to set high expectations but I also think I've got to sacrifice at times if I want to achieve some of my goals.  All of these issues mentioned burn me up and I have written and called and even gone to Murfreesboro, Nashville, and Washington D.C. to meet with my legislators.  The thing is, I am also grateful to live in a country where I have the opportunity to do just that and am willing to try to do what I can to make the legislation which is passed work even if I don't always agree with what has been passed - for example, I try to teach children how to take and score well on that test and how to apply the knowledge needed when they get out into the real world.  I have 7th and 8th graders who will be required to identify the sentence which uses a gerund phrase/infinitive phrase/appositive correctly on the required test.  I don't think they need to know those terms in order to be successful in the 'real world' but they have to know it for a high score on the test.  So, in order to follow the required curriculum as legislated, I teach test skills and communication skills - how to actually write a coherent, well devised sentence when they need it in a memo, letter, or other form of text in their workplace.  My curriculum has 20-50 standards each for reading comprehension skills, grammar, writing, listening, public speaking, working in a group, research, logic/problem solving, media (video, computer technology, graphic arts), knowledge of classic literature, communication.  The almighty test will have about 150 multiple guess questions similar to what I mentioned that my students need to score well on so that we will know what classes to enroll them in when they get to high school and so that the government will know what to pay me for the quality of job that I am doing to teach them all that.  Then, employers will be expecting these children to know how to utilize that knowledge - not caring if they know what a gerund/infinitive/appositive is but wanting them to write coherently and understand and follow directions and stay on task to get their job done. 

I recognize that more money will not solve all the problems.  I make a good living and unlike lots of folks think - I don't just work a few months out of the year and then sit around and eat bonbons.  I don't just work from 8 till 3 either.  I rarely leave the school building before 4:30 or 5 and I always bring home work to grade or prepare for impactful lessons to try to meaningfully teach all those standards my children must learn and know.  I do finish the school year at the end of May but I also spend at least one entire week in June or July in meetings and workshops getting further professional development so that I can do a better job teaching these children and usually another couple of weeks during those two months are spent planning for the upcoming school year and learning about my textbooks, computer technology, and other resources.  Then, I'm back on the job during the first week in August.  During spring break this week I have spent at least an hour or two each day doing school work, too.

I know our system isn't perfect.  I know that we have loads of problems and as a government employee I know I am part of the system which needs reform or attention.  I know that those tax dollars are part of what I work hard to earn and I want a say-so about how they are spent and regulated.  I don't accept popular ideas and listen to folks complain without finding out about things for myself - like the immigrant statistics I mentioned at the beginning of this message.  Yet, I know that the greatest power I have as a U.S. citizen is to listen, analyze, evaluate, and be informed about the candidates running for office and to try to vote accordingly - not necessarily along a party line.  I also continue to communicate with my legislators - the ones I voted for and the ones I voted against by letting them know I am informed and have studied the issues and have an opinion about what way they should vote on upcoming legislation - my parents cared enough to teach me this and I continue to do that.  I hope you are doing the same.

Newlywed Knowledge

I have seen all sorts of movies and television shows about newlyweds and how it takes some time to get to know one another and what things one's partner likes.  Probably the most oft contested jumping off places are the old jokes about the new bride learning to cook the foods her husband likes.  Well, let me tell you that it doesn't matter how old the bride is - that learning curve is still the same. 

Mike really, really, really likes spaghetti.  Seems great, huh?  A simple dish of pasta, sauce with a little meat sauce should be easy - how can one go wrong?  Well, let me tell you - there are lots of ways.  First, the sauce cannot have chunks of tomatoes - even if those tomatoes came from the garden tilled and tended by yourself - even if those tomatoes were carefully canned by yourself.  (Why would he grow something that he doesn't really like to eat?)  Secondly, there shouldn't be much more in the sauce besides ground beef, onions, tomato sauce, and a wee bit of spices.  Then, there are the noodles.  Oh my goodness!  The noodles are the hardest part. 

I've never really paid that much attention to spaghetti in my life!  I'd simply look for a package that said spaghetti and see which was the cheapest, grab it off the grocery shelf and all was good.  Then, I read where I should look for whole-grain and pasta which was not enriched with a bunch of stuff.  So, I settled on eating the whole grain and didn't pay much attention to spaghetti - just bought the cheapest.  No longer will that work.  Today, while standing in the pasta aisle at my local grocery store, I have never felt more intimidated.  I knew that Mike likes 'white' noodles - not whole grain.  I also knew that he wanted them to be "the big round kind."  Eventually I settled on simple inexpensive plain old spaghetti noodles. 

When I started getting dinner together, in he walks to inspect the ingredients.  Since the box didn't say "red cross" on it, immediately he decided that I had the wrong product.  So, I listened to him mouth off about it for a bit.  Then, I walked out onto the deck and got into the truck and drove up to his mother's house and sweetly asked her if she had a box of noodles.  Boy was I surprised when she handed me a box of THIN spaghetti noodles!  You should have seen the confused look on her face when I asked her if this was the kind she had always bought.  Hesitantly she responded that it was - at times she had simply bought the cheap store-brand, but this type is what she had always bought - even when Mike was a kid growing up.  So, I took the box of noodles and zipped back to my own home.  After I showed and compared what I had bought to what his mother had bought, he started chuckling.  Then, several times he apologized - several times.

The entire time we were eating, he was bragging about just how perfect this spaghetti was and how he loved me.

Sleeping Late

I never knew what sleeping late was when I was growing up.  We lived on a dairy farm and everybody in the family got up before the chickens to go out and do chores so we could continue on through the day.  It was something I accepted - probably because I didn't know any different. 

Then, I remember when my own children were young and the traditions continued.  Bridgette had a friend who was a couple of years older and when this friend started school she talked about having to get up so early.  Why, it was still dark, even!  Bridgette just looked at her with this "so what?" look on her face.  Perhaps it was because she had done this most of her life and didn't know things could be different.

That was one promise I made to myself when I was in graduate school.  If I ever got a job teaching school, on weekends and holidays I intended to sleep late.  At first I sometimes had to force myself to stay in bed till eight o'clock.  It wasn't a big chore.  I just kept a book on the bedside table and would lay there and read.  At the time I was still a night owl and I had no problem sliding back into sleep and awakening later when the sun was already up.  Since I've gotten married, I have found that I have no problem sleeping later or going back to sleep and getting up after the sun has already warmed the horizon.  Why, I can even do this when I go to bed at an ungodly early hour like ten o'clock or even nine-thirty.  Plus, I sleep far more deeply and continuously - none of this awakening at two o'clock and not being able to roll over and fall back into sleep.  As soon as my head hits the pillow, I begin to nod most nights even if I think I'm going to read a few pages while Mike snores beside me.  For some reason, I just need more sleep. 

Yesterday, when Forest was visiting, he informed me that his parents are just as cruel and thoughtless as mine used to be.  He doesn't even get a full night's sleep.  He told me that he only "gets to sleep half the night."  They have to "get up in the night-time and go to the barn to help milk."  He likes it better when he gets "to sleep till daytime."  Boy, so do I.  I shared with him that Mike sometimes has to get up in the middle of the night like that and go to work and it is really hard for me when he does. 

On Monday, when Mike had to get up and leave for work at six o'clock in the morning, it truly felt like the middle of the night just as Forest described for himself.  I was almost unconscious when Mike got up to shower and ready himself for the day.  I apologized for not being a better wife who got up and cooked breakfast and packed a gourmet lunch but I just had to be selfish that morning.  We had spent most of the weekend outside enjoying the beautiful spring weather and puttering in the yard and my body and my mind were simply too pooped.  So, I just mumbled and groggily kissed him goodbye when he bent over the bed on Monday morning.  I guess I'm a lot like Forest.  I don't like getting up in the middle of the night.  I like to sleep "till daytime."  Now-a-days I don't just like sleeping "till daytime."  I NEED it!

Compost Consult

My nephew's son - that still seems strange for me to say after all these years of being surrounded by girls in my family except, of course for Bryan.  Since my marriage, though, I've got all sorts of bonus family members - including nephews.  So, my nephew's son, Forest, came for a visit yesterday morning.  He had come to find out where I wanted the load of compost dumped.  (That is one big perk of having a brother-in-law and nephew right next door who operate a dairy farm - cheap fertilizer for my garden!)  Forest knocked on the back door and told me he was here to see where I wanted the compost dumped and to figure out how much to deliver.

He stayed on to visit for about an hour.  We had a good time catching up.  His school's spring break is this week - the same as mine.  We agreed that spring break is a delightful thing to be granted and enjoy.  Forest informed me that he was off from school - well, this is a Monday and he didn't have to go back to school until the next Monday.  When I commented that this was a fabulous thing - having a whole week off, he informed me that he just wished he had four Mondays... 

Somebody is pecking on the back door.  Maybe it is my spring break buddy.  More pearls of wisdom later.

Spring Break!

There is only one sound that is better for a teacher than the final bell on Friday before spring break begins - the final bell sounding at the end of the day on the last day of the school year!  I think we teachers are sometimes far worse than the students about our time out of the classroom.  We tend to look toward it with an anticipation that is unmatched by any other excitement. 

I love my job.  I look forward to going in to work every single morning - well, after I get over having to actually get out of bed.  Yet, I do L-O-V-E having time off - freedom! 

Of course, now that I am not expected in the classroom, I am expected to be on the mower, in the garden, cleaning closets, digging in flower beds...