Memorial Day - Time Set Aside to Honor and Remember

 

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Hope your teenage years are the greatest!

Mother's Day, 2022

Happy Mother's Day! 

As we celebrate mothers today, I think of all the things my mother taught me. They are so numerous that there is no way the list could be encapsulated within a blog post - or maybe even a whole blog dedicated to just that topic. 

Mama and me

I am grateful to my mother for her love and guidance. After I was born, she was a stay-at-home mom but that doesn't mean she didn't work or that she didn't work outside the home. She has been a worker all of her life. After I was born, she was a partner with my dad in starting and running a dairy farm. So, she literally worked outside the home every single day. 

One of my favorite stories is about when she chased off some buzzards that were threatening animals at our farm. Daddy had a double barrel shotgun and she used that as part of her scare tactics. Both barrels went off at once and the kick-back from the gun was so strong that it sort of knocked her for a loop! While I don't recall this event from my early days, I do know that it sort of defines my mother.

My first childhood memory is of the time when our house burned. Mom got me out of the house and wrapped me in a fancy, velvet, warm coat and hat. I remember her setting me on the couch she had pulled out of the door and stacking things around me to help keep me safe and warm. She wound up saving so many practical things from that devastating fire - furniture, clothes, household items. It was really sort of a miracle to think that time and again she went back into the house to gather and haul out things that she thought we would need later and probably would not be able to afford to replace.

Mama always had high expectations of my sister and me and she had Rules. Yes, rules with a capital R. We were expected to behave in a certain manner and present ourselves in a certain manner. We didn't wear barn clothes to go out and visit people and we didn't wear school clothes to the barn. We were taught to be curious and interested but not nosey. We were taught to accept people as they are and show them respect even when they don't deserve it. We were expected to do our best no matter what and that everything we do is a reflection of the kind of person we are. So, do things that are admirable and not things we would be ashamed of later. 

She was my first reading and writing teacher. I learned that I needed to sit still and listen when somebody took the time to read or visit. That was an introduction to politeness and courtesy - paying attention to somebody else. I learned that when somebody sends you something - no matter how small or whether you like it or not - write a thank you note. The thank you note should be personal. It should include the name of the gift or, if the gift was money, a reference to what the money funded. It should express gratitude because we are fortunate to be a recipient of a gift. Politeness, neatness, and gratitude are a must.

Mama is a wonderful seamstress. She stitched together clothes for us that would rival any store-bought garment and hold up better than most in quality. We would pick outfits from pictures and select colors and fabrics and she would create and fit them perfectly to us. While neither of us had the patience for her to teach me to sew, she did get the basics into my head and hands as a youngster. Then, when I became a mother, she gave me one of the greatest gifts ever. She offered to pay for sewing lessons and watch my children while I attended. So, I had a couple of hours to myself and I polished a skill that allowed my children to wear beautiful and practical one-of-a-kind clothes. Years later, she took the time to stitch together quilts for each of us - my sister, me, and all of her grandchildren and great-grandchildren. We all love the coverlets and snuggling under them being wrapped in memories and love.

Mama is a cook. While growing up, I didn't always appreciate and enjoy the things she stirred up in her kitchen. However, I learned to always give everything a taste. As a child, I can recall sitting for hours one day when my cousins had come over to play because I would not taste something. I didn't have to eat a lot of it, just had to taste it. I was so stubborn that I gave up time playing with cousins and sat there.  I don't even recall what it was I didn't nibble but I do recall the learning lesson.  I also recall absolutely disliking one dish that she would make. It was a tuna-noodle casserole. I grumbled each and every time it was on the table. One day when I was shopping as an adult, and picked up a can of tuna, I noticed that it was only a dollar. That's when it hit me. Tuna-noodle casserole was a budget meal that fed the whole family for the least amount of money. I put that can of tuna in my cart, came home and searched for a recipe, and stirred up tuna-noodle casserole. I still don't care for it but I appreciate its value during hard times. I was taught that we would have hard times in life and we find the faith that things will get better, and the strength and tenacity to endure.

There were so many things that Mama does cook that are delicious, however, that tuna-noodle casserole can fall by the wayside easily. I loved roast beef and root vegetables, Swedish meatballs, grilled pork chops, squash casserole, cheese grits, scalloped potatoes, all kinds of casseroles, banana pudding, blondies, brownies, cookies, and so much more growing up and eating at an over-abundant farm table. By far, my favorite of desserts is always German chocolate cake but I rarely cull anything she ever cooks. From Mama's kitchen and that farm table, I learned that preparing and serving food is one way to show love to others in addition to taking care of their well-being. I also learned that generosity is an easy thing to show by preparing food and delivering it to somebody else for their nurturing and to show them love.

Most importantly, Mama taught me to be a mother. Oh, I've never done everything exactly like she did and sometimes intentionally did things differently. However, she did teach me to love and to devote time and attention to my children and grandchildren. Her Rules may have evolved over time but she still passed along that there is a need for rules of some sort and that having high expectations is not a bad thing at all. 

I am so fortunate that my life has held so many incredible women who influenced me, most of whom were first introduced to me by my mother, by the way. Those women and particularly the one I've spent the most time with - Mama - taught me and inspired me and made this journey through life interesting, exciting, eventful, and full of love. I'm feeling blessed on this Mother's Day and I have loads of gratitude. Happy Mother's Day!