Just like last year's resolution, I'm not making any resolutions this year. I simply set goals last year and that worked out some better - at least mentally it did! I had no guilt as I went through my days and I simply had programmed a few reminders to pop up in my calendar as to what goals I needed to keep in mind. Some of them were met and some were not but I was mindful and realistic about it all nonetheless.
I recently saw this blog post about writing a letter to self and I really like that concept. Like I mentioned in last year's blog post, years ago I set a goal and didn't have it dangling in front of myself all the time to keep the guilt trip going and I actually achieved that goal.
When I was in the classroom, I would assign my students to write a letter to themselves at the beginning of the school year and give it back to them a little bit after mid-term. Then, have them write a new letter to themselves that was given back at the end of the school year. It was a good exercise for eighth graders who were preparing to enter high school, I think. So, I guess that is why I like the concept of writing a letter to self offered up in the Anderson + Grant post.
I love the concept that a new year is a blank slate and is somewhat magical allowing us to put the past in the background and begin fresh. It does make it seem as if anything is possible. I agree that there is something to reflecting back over 365 days and realizing amazement.
Last year I remember thinking that I was entering the first year of my life that I would be navigating without my father. While Daddy had not been an earthly part of life since earlier in the year, the thought of navigating a whole, brand new year without his presence was certainly a new one. Looking back on that thought, I am amazed to realize that although his earthly presence isn't with me, his memories, his guidance, his wisdom, and his influence will always be with me because I carry it around inside of me. So many of his ways, his sayings, his values, and his expressions bubble up in my life daily that I've realized he does indeed live on inside of me. Oh, there are times when I miss him terribly and wish I could pick up the phone to share something with him and I really think that will never go away.
Recently, that very thought bubbled up in me when my daughter was sharing her experience as a basketball coach for one of her daughter's team. The thought that just kept prickling at me was that I wish Daddy were here to witness this and laugh about it. I could see him in my mind's eye with a Pepsi bottle about half full in his hand and a grin on his face taking it all in. The memory served to remind me that I need to catalog and treasure these moments so that I can share them back later because that is certainly what he would have done.
Last year I also remember that there were many areas of my personal life in which I was struggling. Some of them were given focused attention and hard work. Most of those situations have grown, morphed, and changed and most of them for the better.
Some of the things that were a nagging worry are still nagging a bit but some of them are also only a vague memory. As a parent, I don't think we ever stop worrying and hoping for the best for our children. When I stand back and observe them in their stage of life, I certainly recall that there were struggles and stress and I always wished there was a manual to guide me along. I'm sure they feel the same way at times. I'm sure they often feel like they are groping in the dark and hoping for the best. My hope is that they will see me as a resource - not always as the model, because there were loads of mistakes made when I was in their stage, but sometimes as the how-to and sometimes as the not-as-I-did kind of resource.
So, like Jamie suggests, I am working on that letter to me. Again, I may add a link to it somewhere along the way in my calendar so that I can revisit it, update it, reflect, and recenter. As a believer in the power of writing, I am also going to encourage those of you who read this and my family to take a little time to write out a letter - actually commit your thoughts to the page (either digitally like I am or physically with a pen and paper). There is something strong about committing words to a page that motivates people and makes what is there more real. Like I used to tell my students, sometimes we don't really know what we think till we see what we write.
Success certainly isn't all about checking something off a list. Success is more of a big picture view looking at the horizon of the journey and knowing that eventually that point on the horizon is going to be right in front of you and another point will be staked far away on the horizon. Success is knowing that some days will be like THAT and there will certainly be a new one that is different to follow it - a day when we get to begin all over again and go forward.
I'm encouraging you to strive toward your vision by starting with writing that vision down today. Then, in 365 days look back and see that pinpoint of where you started and realize the great world that has rolled out between it and where you will be at that place which was far away on the horizon the previous year. I think we are going to see a world of things that will amaze us. Best wishes for turning the page into a new year!
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