Start Dancing!

Last year I discovered 24 Hours of Happy and shared it with everybody I could think of who really needed to have a little Happy.

I still go back and visit it when I need a little bit of Happy from time to time.

I've been known to sing off-key at the top of my lungs hum along and dance around in my kitchen numerous times.

Sometimes it will be grooving to Happy or showing homage to Trace Adkin's disgraceful song.

MoTown music is always a hit with me as I think there is NO BETTER MUSIC MADE than that.

Right after we married, Mike and I shocked his son, Stephen, as we sang and danced along with Elton John on a classic number.  (I guess I bring out the best in folks, huh?)

I think it might be sort of a tradition in my family to dance around in the kitchen.

I remember Mama teaching me to do the twist with Chubby Checker or Elvis right there in our farmhouse kitchen when I was a skinny girl growing up.

Bridgette has been caught in the act and even had her moves posted online for the world to share.  We are dancing vacuumers as a family, too, I guess.  I know that her skinny girls dance along in the kitchen, too.  Continue the family tradition, girl!  She sent me a link the other day to a wonderful blog post that encourages dancing in the kitchen.  Looking at the vinyl floor the author was heating up with her moves took me back to the days when my own children were skinny munchkins growing up.  We would dance around in our kitchen on a floor exactly like that one and share so much joy.

Then, my journey down memory lane took me to high school dances I used to chaperon when I was sponsoring student government in my early educator years.  Some kid would always dare another to ask me to dance and of course I would oblige.  They would buzz about it in the hallways the next week and giggle behind their hands as we passed in the hall.

One of my colleagues shared a post about a young lad dancing out his Happy at the recent NCAA basketball warm-up music this past week and I just smiled and admired his moves.  He reminded me of my middle school teaching days.  We would have school dances for those adolescents and at first nobody would dance.  Then, I would coerce some kid into being my partner and we would get out there and shake a leg.  They were never surprised at my crazy dancing because I always told them how I loved to dance when we were in class.  At first they were a little skeptical and there was some eye rolling.  Then, they might hear music playing in my classroom during my planning time.  I always claim my favorite music is LOUD.  Next, they might notice me swaying or barely containing a little jig while music was playing and they were taking a benchmark assessment or exam.  So, when I broke out and busted a move or two at a basketball game during warm-ups or half-time, they simply rolled their eyes and giggled.

Mike and I often will turn up our old-school stereo and put in CDs or just let the radio blare out and do a little dancing right in our den or kitchen.  It makes us laugh and gives us a good excuse to hold one another close and sway around, if nothing else.  (We call it belly-rubbing-music.)  But, just the other night Mike and I were crashed in the den watching TV when a healthcare commercial came on.  It featured a couple who are built a little bit like us and they were recreating the Dirty Dancing lift and had a bit of a mishap.  In unison, Mike and I looked at one another and said, "That could be us!"

I don't know why we don't just set aside a time to simply do some silly dancing at times.  It brings out the Happy in most everybody somehow.  Life is too short not to enjoy it.  So, come on, do it.  Dance like nobody is watching and just look at how your soul is lifted and so are your spirits!

I'm turning on a little Uptown Funk and cranking up the volume right this minute.  After that will come a little Aretha, wanna join me?

Why?

Why is it that SOME PEOPLE can be so smart and can do some of the hardest things and can manage things that I cannot even remember and can remember things that took place thirty years ago and can figure out some of the most difficult things that I could NEVER figure out or do myself...and, yet, there are simple things that they just cannot seem to do?

Things that take almost no effort at all.  Things that I've tried to make the process a simple and convenient one.  I mean I even have a small waste-basket nearby...almost right underneath (seen in the lower left corner of the photo below)...

Why is something like this un-do-able?

I know.  I know.  I need to remember the words of a wise woman...

Interesting Configuration

A couple of Saturdays ago Bridgette, Lillie, Lydia, and I trekked half-way across the state to attend a baby shower honoring my daughter-in-law, Jessica.  It was quite a trip.  We made good time and decided to stop and eat lunch.  We were greeted by a buffalo.  It was quite a scary site.  You can see what I'm talking about HERE.

Then, we hopped back on the interstate and traversed a short way only to come to a dead stop a mere seven miles from our exit.  There had been some sort of accident and a tractor-trailer-rig had turned over on the side of the road.  So, we waited a good forty-five minutes or so there.

When we finally made it to our exit, I asked Bridgette, our driver, to stop so that I could take a potty break.  As soon as she stopped in the parking lot of Dottie's Marine, I zipped inside to take care of business.  This was what greeted me when I opened the door to the women's restroom:

Now, I have a question for you.  Just say that you were in a rush and you zipped in to take care of business and you didn't bring a friend along.  Just say that you quickly chose the first throne you came to.  Explain what you would do when the time came that you needed a length of toilet paper...

Don't you think this is sort of an interesting configuration for a bathroom?

Gone Digital!

We have gone over the digital edge here!  Lydia is visiting for the next day or so.  (She and I are going to go to a play.) Here is what all we have going at the moment.  The big TV in the den is playing the western channel.  (Guess who is in there?)  Whoever is in the den is also checking email on his laptop.  Sitting beside his chair is his iPhone.

Here in the kitchen we have the Mickey Mouse Clubhouse blaring out.  Lydia is also flinging a few Angry Birds using my iPad.  My Android phone is sitting here ticking off the time till we need to get gussied up for the play.  Plus, I am typing on my laptop to get this blog post done.

It is a noisy, happening, happy, digital place to be up in here!  (That is a good thing because it is my first official day of Spring Break and the snow is flying outside!)

Bad Taste

Guess who's sickly?

Yep, and I am one of those folks who resists doctors and medicines as much as possible.  I've been schlepping round with 'sinus pressure' for a couple or three weeks.  I would notice the stuffiness in my sinuses when I'd roll over in bed and it seemed like all the fluid in my head On New Year's Day I started REALLY feeling sinus-pressure-to-the-max - even to headache mode. 

So, I crawled out of bed and shuffled to the shower and drug around to get dry and dressed and was out the door to the walk-in clinic by eight o'clock in the morning on January 2nd.  Upon arrival I started to sign in and the girl behind the counter said, "We do not have a provider here as yet.  I just want you to know that we have put a call in and don't know whether one will arrive in minutes or an hour or what."  So, I tromped back out to the truck and went down the street to the local medical clinic.  Nobody was in the waiting room; so, I thought I might have some luck.  I asked the girl behind the counter there if there was a possibility to be a work-in because I was almost positive I have a sinus infection.  She shook her head and said no.  (Do these places just not want business or what is the story with that sort of attitude?  I gave my regular doctor's office (which is a 40-minute drive across town away) a call and learned that he is off on Wednesdays and the Physician's Assistant is slammed but will try to work me in SOMETIME.  So, I just trudged back home and flopped on the couch. 

In a while, at about ten-thirty, the original walk-in clinic called and said the provider had arrived and I could be seen if I wanted to return to the clinic.  I did.  Six prescriptions. 

I had to drive another ten miles to the pharmacy which my insurance is in bed with is in cahoots with is contracted.  The girl at the drive-thru window said I could wait thirty minutes for my meds.  By now it is nearly noon and I have had nothing to eat.  So, I drove through a fast food place and got a roast beef sandwich and a glass of tea.  When I returned to the pharmacy, I only had to wait about ten minutes.  Then, I had to have a pharmacist consult on every single one of the six prescriptions.

I got back home at around one-thirty and crashed on the couch.  I was $160 (plus the $10 for lunch and $3 for Red Box movies) poorer and still felt like crap. 

The most important question I would like answered at this point is:

Why does cough syrup have to have such a B-A-D taste?

My Mis-Adventures in Feast Preparing

How is it that I got to be "The Grandmother" whose house everybody comes over the river and through the woods to see on the holiday?  Wasn't it just the day before yesterday I was the young girl flipping around and grumping because we had to get all our work done so we could go to MY grandmother's house over the river and through the woods.  Because I'm sure it was JUST yesterday that I was forcing my own children to get all their chores done so we could go to my mother's house over the river and through the woods.  How did this happen?  How come I didn't get that "grandmother" training where all the food comes out tasting like Martha or Ina prepared it and looking like Norman Rockwell painted it?  How on earth did those ancestors get everything prepared and done at the same time?  When did they sweep the dust bunnies up off the floor?  When did they swish the layer of dust off the furniture?  When did they scrub the toilets and wipe the water spots and toothpaste off the bathroom sinks?  How is it that they were still standing upright and smiling when we arrived and not bent over, aching, and frowning and cursing as they realized they hadn't prepared something?  Why didn't somebody give me THAT training?

Our children are coming to celebrate Christmas and exchange gifts and eat the feast I'm preparing tomorrow.  We're having two types of ham, sweet potatoes, macaroni and cheese, corn, green beans, rolls, desserts and cranberry salad.  (Well, at least that is what I've got planned!  Right now we might just have hams, a loaf of sour dough bread from the grocery, and cranberry salad while we sit on the unswept floor and try not to disturb the protective layer of dust on the furniture.)

When the holidays roll around, some foods are just...expected.  Cranberries at Christmas and Thanksgiving are expected.  I'm glad because I like cranberries at any time of the year - and especially at these holiday feasts!  One of my favorite dishes from childhood is a congealed salad my mother made with cranberry sauce.  Here is my mis-adventure at trying to recapture that delicacy:

• Gather your ingredients.

 

• Mumble a few curses under your breath because nobody on earth will know or care except you and Toby because you are the only two around and Toby won't tell anybody.  The curses are mumbled when you realize that you accidentally picked up jellied cranberry sauce instead of whole cranberry sauce and because you got cherry gelatin instead of black cherry gelatin.  You are determined to make this work.  So, you don't go back to the store but just persevere!
• Following the directions on the gelatin, boil two cups of water in a microwavable mixing bowl.
• While this is zapping, open the crushed pineapple and whole cranberry sauce jellied sauce and mumble a few more curses.
• Mix the pineapple and sauce together smushing the lumpy sauce against the side and bottom of a beautiful glass bowl to get rid of those lumps.

• Carefully remove the boiling water from the microwave because if you slosh it and it spills on your toes, you will have to loudly mumble curse words and Toby will run over to make sure you are alright and look at you like you are crazy.
• Mix the gelatin into the boiling water completely.
• Sprinkle the chopped pecans atop the pineapple/lumpy cranberry sauce mix and mash your lips together because you keep thinking that it would be so much better with the whole cranberries in it.
• Suddenly feel all warm and genius-like because you have a brilliant idea - dried cranberries!

• Drop a handful, or two, or three...Oh, what the heck!  Drop a good four handfuls into the hot gelatin liquid and let them sit for a minute while you wipe up the splatters of stickiness that you caused.

• Go ahead and wet a paper towel and wipe it up off the floor, too, because if you don't you will be cursing later at the sticky spot.  While you are wiping the counter and before you get to the floor you will notice that SOMEBODY has already spilled something else and there is a trail of drippiness going down the side of the cabinet and at the base there on the floor.  (Not you, of course.  SOMEBODY else did this because you would never leave a mess like that and forget about it till it dried and looked all yucky to be discovered later and cause somebody else to mumble curses!)  Then, get you another wad of paper towels and scrub the counter and the floor good.

• Pour the liquid gelatin and softened, dried cranberries into the pineapple/sauce/pecan mixture and give it a good stir.
• Get more paper towels and clean up the mess you made trying to pour, stir, and take a picture at the same time because you don't have that much coordination and Lord knows you don't want somebody else to come along and find the sticky mess YOU made!
• Give the whole concoction a good stir and carefully shift the beautiful bowl and mixture over to the fridge so it can begin to 'set up' and get all jelly-like.

• Leave it in the fridge for about an hour and give it another gentle stir to mix in the pecans that have all floated to the top.  Be careful not to trip over the dog when you get to this step or you might almost tip the entire concoction out onto the floor and mumble more curse words. 
• Cover with that clear plastic wrap that gets all clingy to itself and you have to stretch and pull and tear the first piece and then mumble curse words as you wad it up and throw it away before you get a nice flat piece stretched across the top of the bowl and tear it off the roll. 
• Smile to yourself and say, "Now!" to Toby because you feel a sense of accomplishment at having one dish ready for all the family.

*Note:  I stressed that you should put this in a pretty glass bowl.  That is something that my mother and grandmothers taught me in the training to be THE GRANDMOTHER.  Presentation is important.  You eat with your eyes before you do with your mouth.  A colorful food like this adds to the appearance of the table or buffet and everything looks and tastes better in a beautiful bowl!  No southern woman worth her salt would even consider not having something for the holidays served in a beautiful bowl!

*Another Note:  It is easy to forget this dish because it is one of the first you prepared and it gets pushed to the back of the fridge and everything else will be coming off the stove or out of the oven.  So, make yourself a note and post it somewhere that somebody in the family will see and remember to take it out of the fridge before you eat because it is a dish that you and THE GRANDFATHER would get absolutely sick of if you had to eat it - just the two of you.  Yes, this is the voice of experience speaking because I remember my mother and grandmother making just this mistake!  Let's hope I don't tomorrow!

I would advise you to prepare this dish near the beginning of your preparation stages so that you can feel that sense of accomplishment because there are loads of other dishes, lots of cleaning, and gifts to finish wrapping and beribboning and you will feel overwhelmed at all you have to do.  You are going to need that little triumph!  Trust me.  I know.  I am THE GRANDMOTHER now!

Happy Feast Preparation to all you other GRANDMOTHERS! 

(If you would like this recipe in a more concise form, you could just go HERE.)

HOT! HOT! HOT!

The temperatures here are beyond sweltering - I'd say closer to southern Hades!  We have had record breaking temperatures this week and I've grown spoiled and out of shape for the heat.  Yesterday and the day before the thermometer on the back porch looked like this at 4:30ish:

 

I know that part of this is radiating off the wall and the porch floor and that the sun is hitting the thermometer directly, but when I was standing right there, it certainly felt every bit of 138 degrees!

The official temperature was 108 yesterday, I think.  Today we got a break and the official temperature was only a mere 106, I think. 

We were invited to a potluck dinner tonight and I took baked beans and pasta salad.  If you want the pasta salad recipe you can find it HERE. 

Surprise Volunteers

We mulched the potatoes with straw.  Probably not a great idea we have learned.  Now we have a small wheat crop growing up where the potatoes are growing.  Plus, we got another big surprise...

Update:  This is the same place where I had sowed a row of Zinnias last year and I guess they reseeded and the volunteers are brightening that little patch of the world!

Scientific Trials

When I was in college as an undergraduate, I worked at one of the university's test facilities.  I shudder to think that what we were doing was a part of research!  As a young kid, I certainly didn't take the tasks I was doing as scientific.  The researching professor would design a ration for feeding the animals and expect us to measure and weigh each element of that ration before feeding the animals.  I'm sure that in the mind of the researcher we were accurately weighing or measuring each element precisely and accurately - certainly not what we did - Oh, I think that is about three pounds, or that is close to a cup... 

Now that I think of this as an adult and read periodically about medical, technical, mechanical, organic, or botanical research that impacts my life every day, I imagine that all research is probably conducted about the same way and shudder to think that my health and my safety are dependent upon such results.  ARGH!!! 

I focus on this topic because I am conducting a bit of scientific research myself.  Oh, it isn't really about health, organics, botanics or something all that lofty and important.  It is purely personal.  You see, Mike has some cats.  No, Mike has WAY too many cats here on the farm.  I always grew up having a barn cat to keep the mice away from the livestock feeds.  However, with this many cats, there shouldn't be mice anywhere on this eighteen acres in this county in the southeast!  There are at least a dozen cats out at that barn!

First, let me say, I am not a cat lover.  Secondly, we have way too many cats.  As fate would have it, the cats sort of gravitate here to the house periodically.  I have tried various methods to try to keep them away from the house - envision hand clapping, chasing with a broom, Annie Oakley with a BB gun...  I realize they know that we feed them and this is why they seek our companionship.  However, we only feed them at the barn.  At any rate, one of the reasons I don't want them here at the house is my porch furniture.

In the summer I put cushions on the front porch furniture and we sit out there sometimes especially during a summer evening rain.  Mike also inherited this wrought iron sofa - no cushions - just the frame.  I like this piece of furniture and like to use it.  However, without cushions, it is uncomfortable, to say the least.  Yet, cushions cost more than a brand new sofa and cushions.  So, I have improvised.

Last summer, Jessica and I stumbled across a deal on a chaise cushion at Olde Time Pottery.  I got three of those cushions and it worked perfectly on the sofa.  You can get a glimpse of them below and read about other projects I've tackled HERE.

The cushions are a bit faded since they have weathered outside constantly for the past year, but still functional.  I'm thinking about giving them a fresh cover but because of the cats, I hesitate.  You see, one of them, in particular, has made this her favorite bedtime roost.  I've tried lots of deterrents but none seem to work.  Then, I Googled did a bit of research and learned that cats don't like aluminum foil.  They even sell these blanket-like upholstery covers that have a foil backing on one side to prevent animals from climbing and laying on furniture.  That seemed way to expensive to me.

Being the experienced researcher that I am, I decided to conduct my own study.  Guess what!  Cats do not like foil!  I haven't seen them on the sofa cushions.  I have seen no evidence of them on there, either.  I think it works!  My reading told me that it would take about a month to train the animals to stay away.  I think that is a small price to pay. 

Who says science isn't important in our lives?  When will I ever use these research skills I used to ask my teachers.  Now I know!

The Craziness Continues

Back in the fall we noticed it.  Heck, it was hard to hide - she showed it all the time.  Right out in plain sight.  Not even trying to hide it.  My mother went crazy.  You may want to learn more about that HERE.  Well, it didn't stop there.  She just kept getting crazier and crazier!  By Christmas, she had gone crazy for Mike and me, my brother-in-law and sister - Brenda, my son-in-law and daughter - Bridgette, and my daughter-in-law and son - Bryan.  Now she is going crazy for my nieces!  Will the craziness never end?!

As for Mike and me, we are pretty proud she did.  (I think Mike might even be more proud than me!  He absolutely LOVES and appreciates the time and talent it takes to hand-make anything.)  Anyway, I want to share the craziness Mom created.

This first glimpse is one where she focused on my favorite color of all - blue.

This square had my name embroidered on it.

I see a little snippet of the fabric we used to create the cushion for the bay window seat.  (You may remember us wrestling that alligator.  If not, you can read about it HERE.)  Right beside it looks like a scrap from my bridesmaid's dresses long years ago.  There is a little dobby print from some curtains or a chair cushion.  There are also lots of fancy embroidery stitches connecting everything and embellishing all the pieces.  I see some pretty purplish-blue flowers that might be irises and some that might be peonies or roses - pink, my favorite color for flowers. 

The next square is made of different shades of one of Mike's favorite colors - greens.

Lots of variety in the stitches on this one.

She has scripted his name across one scrap of fabric.  There are all sorts of stitches there and pieces of lace and braid and beads.  The textures of fabric range from silks, to satins, to velvets, and maybe even a piece of polished cotton.  The range of fabrics and stitches make me think of the different aspects of this man who growls like a grizzly but really is a soft Teddy-bear at heart.

The next square has some blues and leads into purples.

There are more flowers 'growing' on this one!

Here she embroidered Bridgette and Corey's names.  The flowers are not just clustered on the centers of the fabric pieces but are also growing along the edges and connecting the different pieces.  I wonder if that lavender piece of satin is left from my sister's bride's maid dresses?  The orderly designs of the embroidery and the burst of colorful flowers truly represent the strength and personality of those two people!

Earth tones of brown and tan and gold make up the next square.

Nature's colors.

This back-to-nature color scheme is just right for Mom to embroider Bryan's and Jessica's names onto.  The textures of corduroy, a sturdy cotton, and dobby upholstery fabrics play nicely off the lace pieces and decorative braids and embroidered flowers.  It reminds me of the turkeys and deer that Bryan so avidly stalks and the sweet, soft-spoken wife with whom he shares his life. 

A square with sunshine yellows commemorates my first granddaughter.

A springlike touch!

Just like her platinum blonde hair, this square reminds me of Lillie.  There is a sparkly rick-rack like the tinkle of her giggle and an embroidered fan like the fresh breeze she can stir up with her grown-up ideas coming from her snaggle-toothed little pre-school mouth.  Glittery beads and blue-blue flowers make me think of the twinkle of her eyes.

Girly-girl shades of pink make up the next square.

Pink like Minnie!

Lydia's name is embroidered on the square crafted of pinks - her favorite color.  She grew to love pink because it is Minnie Mouse, her favorite friend's color of choice.  Again, there is a range of fabric types - velvet, moire taffeta, silks, cotton prints, and satins.  A multitude of styles which are just like the facets of the gem Lydia truly can be.  There are tiny little flower buds like her short little legs and shiny fabrics like the glow of her happy little face.  There are criss-crossing stitches and beautiful blooms and soft scraps of fabric just like her sweet, gentle, loving little personality.

The next square has mostly blue fabrics but the colors of embroidery truly give it life.

There is a riot of colors here!

Just like Mike's daughter, Laura, and her children, Cassie and Evie, have perked up our lives, this square bursts with colors of pinks, yellows, purples, and golds.  The rich braids embellished with beads and embroidery represent how these three girls enrich and embellish our lives with smiles, giggles, hugs, and kisses.  They spring into our home and fill it with laughter and activity leaving us with warm memories and remembered smiles.

The final square explodes with color and patterns.

Fun zig-zags and polka dots!

This square is a good representative of Mike's son, Stephen and his wife, Bonnie.  There is her favorite color - pink.  It has fun polka-dots and zig-zags which represent their range and depth of happy personalities.  It is busy and colorful just like their fast-paced lives running a business.  Bonnie and Stephen's names are stitched as well as an O for our last name.

I cannot imagine how many hours it took my mother to go this crazy but it is really quite beautiful.  I want to protect its beauty and all the work in it.  Yet, I also want to have it out where other folks can appreciate it as well.  So, I haven't found the perfect spot for it just yet. 

The soft sky-blue velvet that connects these squares

reminds me of the soft strength of the woman who crafted it.

I guess I needn't worry about having a mother who has gone crazy.  I envision her fingers stitching all the different scrolls, flowers, dots, squiggles, vines, tracks, and names and recall how she could look at a dress or blouse on the rack at a store which was too expensive for our budget when I was growing up and then she would stop off at the fabric store and pick up a yard or two which was similar to that garment and by the end of the week I would have a replica of it - only it would be sturdier made and better fitting.  I remember how she stitched together and embellished folks' wedding gowns and formals to help pay for my trips here and there and my college education (and sometimes probably helped to pay the electric bill which kept us warm or cool).

I am honored to have a crazy mother who focuses her energies toward hand-crafting and creating something that will be an heirloom for many generations.  I am just grateful that I get to enjoy the fruits of her labors, the warmth of her smile, the sparkle of her emerald eyes, the sheen of her snowy hair, and the sunshine of her laughter.  We don't always tell the folks we love how much we do - but my mother - in her crazy ways - certainly does show us that she really loves us and wraps us in her crazy love - literally and figuratively!

(By the way, if you want a closer look at the photos, just click on them and you can see it enlarged a bit.)

A Couple of Whacks

I was beginning to think that I'd never get around to completing a Christmas post.  I have had a bit of sinus/ear/cough yuckiness and just didn't feel like doing anything that wasn't absolutely necessary.  However, here it is - Christmas Day - and after some help from a Z-Pack, I'm starting to feel a bit better. 

Then... yesterday I got ready to make a few photos and my camera kept trying to start but would simply give me an error message that said, turn it off and back on again.  I thought maybe there was something wrong with the battery's charge and took that out and gave it overnight to charge.  I took out the memory card and emptied everything off of it in fear that it might have somehow gotten corrupted or something equally as electronically scary.

Finally, like everybody else does these days, I went online and Googled it.  Yes, I just typed in "Sony Cyber-shot turn on and off error message."  Guess what!  There were several hits and I happened to click on just the right information. 

Interestingly enough, the first post said to simply tap the camera a couple of times on the table and it would begin to work.  I tried that and nothing changed.  Then, the next post said that it was easy to repair but the person posting worked at a camera shop and didn't feel he/she could advertise where to bring the person posing the question's camera for the repair and posted an email address instructing the camera owner to get in touch.  I was skeptical of this one and didn't try that.  I kept reading along and several folks said they had tried the tapping to no avail and I could commiserate with them.  Finally, a couple of folks said that they had tried the tapping and then decided they had lost nothing; so, they gave their camera a couple of really hard whacks.  One person even said they dropped it on the floor a couple of times and that worked! 

After surfing a bit more using my Google suggestions, I gave up.  I whacked the camera on the kitchen counter a couple of times and got no better results than my hand taps.  So, leaning to the concept that I had lost nothing if it didn't work, I dropped the camera on the floor three times.  The first couple of times I made sure it would land facing straight up.  The second time I made it land with the lens facing down because one of the folks had said something about the lens cover getting jammed.

Guess what... it worked!  My camera is working fine now and I'm wishing I had surfed and experimented and 'carefully' repaired it before Mike's family celebration over brunch this morning! 

So, never hesitate to give something a couple of whacks.  It even seems to work at repairing electronics!

Big Tom

Stephen and Bonnie raised some chickens and a turkey this summer.  From the start, Stephen's goal was to have the turkey for Thanksgiving.  After feeding and interacting with the turkey, though, Bonnie was not quite as eager to see him on her table.  Eventually, she agreed.  However, he turned out to be too much of an undertaking for Bonnie's mother to tackle since he weighed over forty pounds!

So, who does Stephen turn to when the cooking needs finesse?  Good ole Dad!

Big Tom and Mike

Since Mike has a new smoker, he was glad to wear the chef's hat.  Then, he saw the turkey...

What a bird!

Doubting that Big Tom would fit into the new smoker, the chef decided that he would divide the bird into more manageable chunks.  Plus, this would cut down on cooking time.  So, he asked for a sharp knife and an assistant.  He also assembled his work space down on the concrete turn-around at the basement entrance.  He brought down the table which he usually uses for meat preparation such as fish cleaning or wild game dressing.  It is a lightweight, portable plastic table which is easily cleaned and sanitized.  There also is a water spigot there for rinsing and an electrical outlet for his saws-all.  Bridgette offered to be the guest photographer and I became the able assistant. 

This shot is one she worked hard to get.  Mainly so it could be cropped down to look like this:

Doesn't it look sort of like Mike's head is on the turkey's body?

Silly girl!

Enough of the fun and games.  It is time to get down to business.

Mike installed a brand-new, clean blade into the saws-all. Then, set to work dividing this bad boy into manageable parts. He decided to separate the legs and wings from the body first.

This shot shows what the able assistant did during most of this process.

She is really pretty good at propping that hand on her hip and watching.

First, a bit of slicing.

Well, some major slicing.

Then, a little nip with the saw.

A final little slice.

A little hamming for the camera - "Man got food!"

Then it was back to work.

Time for the assistant to step in and help hold Big Tom.

I didn't really want to touch Big Tom with my bare hands like Mike did.  So, he gave me a cloth to lay atop the bird and I was a bit more cooperative.

The looks on the faces say it all...

Mike's is one of determination and mine is saying Eeyuw!

The look of triumph is not quite the same either.

Then, it was time to tackle the other side.

We even had the same expressions for this side, I think.

One more little nip...

Sometimes it took brute force to cut through.

Sometimes it was simply getting a strong grip.

Sometimes it was a matter of holding your mouth just right!

The able assistant needed two hands and cloths for this job.

I think this was a time to step back, hitch up your pants, and think about what needed to happen next.

He decided to trim off the tail because it seemed to be mostly bone and fat.

Big Tom had also been pecked by the chickens a little

and was sprayed with some purple antiseptic spray

that had lingered on the skin

and Mike thought we didn't need to cook or eat that part.

A little more steadying.

Then, a little bit of clean-up.

Trimming off some fat.

Supervising is a tough job but somebody's got to do it!

Isn't that guy one handsome devil?

He trimmed and worked on the turkey breast till it was picture-perfect.

Finally, it was time to get a little refreshment,

stand back and admire your work a little bit,

and begin to clean up what is left of Big Tom.

It took lots of scrubbing to get this big guy clean.

There is always time for a little silliness, too.  I think this was the singing in the shower routine.

Now the actual cooking prep takes place.

Mike had found a recipe for injecting a simple concoction of green peppers and onions along with a dash of spices down into the meat.

He pumped the bird full till Big Tom puffed up and the mixture oozed out.

A sprinkle of a spicy mix and a quick rub to the surface of the bird to add some flavor.

Then, it was time to smoke this big fellow.  The guest photographer had to leave and yes, I forgot to make photos of the smoking process until it was far too dark.  Mike kept pouring the coals to the smoker, keeping the temperature in the smoking chamber up to 225 degrees or more.  (The able assistant kept him company by sitting beside the fire box and looking at a magazine.)  He put the meat on the racks at about three o'clock.  At about ten-thirty a storm began to blow in.  So, with my encouragement, Mike decided to move the meat indoors to the oven.  We placed the breast in one foil roasting pan and the legs and wings into another and slid it all into the oven and baked it on 225 degrees for the remainder of the night.  I got up a couple of times because of the storm and looked in on the meat to make sure we weren't burning it or something.  (Like I knew what I was looking at!) 

We sure awoke to delicious smells!  Mike got up and set right to work checking.  We used the meat thermometer to determine if the big bird was done.  The thermometer read nearly 200 degrees in several spots.  Since the official recommendations in cookbooks and online resources say an internal temperature of 160 degrees indicates done-ness, We took the meat out of the oven and set it on the counter to cool for a bit.  Mike deboned the breast and took a break to cook his able assistant a delicious breakfast of sausage, bacon, and biscuits. 

Then, he finished off the deboning process of the legs and wings. 

Didn't these legs turn out beautifully?

The breast was equally as picture-perfect.  What we tasted was absolutely delicious as well!

Big Tom wound up making a huge pan of white meat - one of those big foil roasting pans filled to the brim.  Additionally, there were two big chunks of breast meat that Mike didn't slice but simply wrapped in foil.  There was also a half-roaster full of dark meat from the legs and wings.  The meat turned out moist and succulent and the chef turned out smiling.

I know this is an ultra long post with loads of photographs.  However, I didn't even include the part where the pan holding Big Tom's breast meat sloshed hot drippings and burned the mover's front, or where the pan was dropped into the floor causing the drippings to splash all over the cabinets and floor, or where the cabinets were washed and the floor mopped.  (The bird never touched the floor but there sure was a lot of drippings sloshed all over everything!)  All that is a story for another time. 

As it turns out, we wound up with some delicious, succulent turkey meat and nice clean cabinetry and kitchen floors as well and all before noon today!  What an adventure!