We're not feeding hogs...or are we?

I remember when I was a young girl that my Daddy often would say to me, "Remember now, we're not feeding hogs."  I had no idea what he was talking about.  I knew we were not feeding hogs.  We didn't have any swine on our farm.  We were operating a dairy farm.  We raised Holstein heifers and milked Holstein cows without a pig in sight.

So, finally one day I asked Daddy what he meant by that.  He said, "Have you ever been to a feed lot?"  I had not.  So, after the morning chores, followed by breakfast, we climbed into the pickup truck to go down to Nashville to get some minerals or a load of corn or some such and Daddy stopped off at a feed lot where they were feeding out pigs for slaughter.

We got out of the truck and walked over to one of the barns where hundreds of pigs were kept in narrow pens leading down into a lot away from the shelter of the barn.  The smell was overwhelming.  Pigs creating a strong and pungent odor.  The guys working at the feed lot were putting a grain mix of corn and such out for those feeder pigs.  They drove by on a tractor with a mechanical wagon that spit out the grain mix into a trough for those pigs.  Some of the pigs would come running and would dash from place to place lapping up the grain mix.  Some of them would lumber slowly up to the trough and push other pigs out of the way to get a lot of the grain mix.  Some of the pigs came to the trough but didn't get a lot because the other two types kept pushing them away.  Yet others just stayed back until all the other pigs ate their fill and then they came up and licked up the few crumbs that were left. The guys feeding, however, just slowly drove down the long row of troughs and kept the wagon spitting the grain mix out till they got to the end of the barn.  Then, they turned and came back down the other side of the barn to feed the pens on the opposite side.  Once they had finished with that barn, they drove the tractor pulling the wagon on to the next barn and never looked back.

After watching a while, Daddy and I climbed back into the truck and he pointed it toward home.  Once we were settled in and on the highway headed south, Daddy asked me what I noticed.  In my youth, I simply said, "There were a lot of pigs and only a couple of guys feeding them."  Daddy said, "Yep.  What did you notice about those pigs?"  So, I sat and thought and described the way the pigs responded in four general categories.  I was asked, "How do you think each different group produced with that kind of atmosphere."  After thinking a bit, I explained, "Well, those who rushed up to the trough and dashed from place to place got a good bit to eat. Those who lumbered up there and pushed the others away got a lot to eat.  Those who simply came to the trough got a little to eat but not enough to really flourish and those who held back probably didn't gain much weight or grow at all."  Daddy said, "And what was the goal for the pigs?"  I just looked at him like he'd lost his mind and finally said, "I think they were all expected to grow and thrive and gain weight so they can produce a lot of ham and sausage and pork chops."  Daddy said, "Yes, and how do you think our cows and calves would do if we took care of them like those guys were feeding those hogs?"

That is when the lesson really hit home to me.  We looked at each animal on our farm as an individual who was going to work hard to produce a lot of milk and provide us with a good living.  If one didn't come to the trough and eat well, we took a bucket over and fed her individually so she could continue to grow or so she could continue to produce as much milk as possible.  If one pushed the others away from the trough, we would move her to another place to eat alone so that the ones being pushed away could get more and the push-away cow would not get too much.  If one ran from place to place to eat, we made certain that there was grain in more than one place for her to eat.  We treated each individual like she was special because she was.  She was our livelihood and there were not hundreds more in the next pen to take her place.

Throughout my career as a teacher I have kept my Daddy's lesson in mind.  I haven't been just throwing corn out to the hogs and hoping they produced sausage and ham and porch chops.  I've tried so hard to meet teachers and students where they are and support them and nudge them and encourage them to grow to where the needed to be.

Yet things have changed since schools were closed and we began distance learning.  So very many people needed extra support and needed to quickly grow their digital skills that we have been working for the masses.  This week, especially, I feel like I've been feeding hogs - just taking a bucket and casting the corn into the trough and hoping for the best.

Genetics

My hairdresser called to let me know that she would be glad to reschedule my appointment for a later time.  Yet, we had no idea when would be a good time to reschedule.  How long will we be staying home?  So, we exchanged pleasantries about our families and promised to stay in touch and just schedule later. 

I may be Rapunzel before this is all over and I'm able to get a hair appointment for all I know.  I just know that I cannot schedule something when there is so much unknown.

My hair has been a wild mess, for the most part, ever since we have been staying at home.  You see, I have a lot of hair.  It is thick.  It is coarse.  It has just enough curl or body to it to be unruly.  I'm not one who is into spray or products that hold it just so.  So, it gets a little out of hand.

When I get out of bed each morning, I think something beyond bedhead is what I would classify it.  I generally laugh and refer to my morning look as Medusa Head.  Yep.  Imagine that wild look of monstrous snakes going in every direction.  That is the look every single morning.

The children have been sharing photos of our granddaughters during this time of staying at home.  Mike made the comment the other day that he thought my granddaughters must have inherited my hair.

Here is an example of how Lillie has tamed hers as best she could without having to go into a deep dive of products and tools to tame it.

When my  hair is long enough to contain with a ponytail holder, that is exactly what I've done.  Just sort of wad it up into a knot and keep it away from my face. 

Luci also has demonstrated a bit about how being active and busy can sometimes cause her hair to escape the confines she attempted.  Her hair can get a little bit unruly like mine.

When I've worked outside and get a little wind-tossed or am doing a chore like picking up fallen limbs, mine can get a bit out of hand as well.

Then, Linley recently demonstrated a look that I have gotten at times.  There is just enough curl that it flips here and flips there and some is in her eyes and some is curled out there.  Nothing tame and styled.  Just a bit of everywhere.

Even though I don't have a photo of Lydia with a wild hairdo, I know that she has a good look like us every now and again.  I think Mike might have a point about them inheriting that hair thing from me.  I apologize to their mothers and to them about it sometimes. 

Then, I think, at least that is not an awful thing to have inherited from me.  It certainly could have been a lot worse!

Easter Sunday

This Easter is different. 

I wonder how many times that statement has been uttered today and during the past few days.  It is different.  We still celebrate the intention of the holiday - Jesus.  However, we celebrate and honor it so differently. 

At our house it has been quiet with the exception of the falling rain and thunder.  No excitement and anticipation over gathering lots of eggs from the grass or flowers or numerous other places they might be hidden.  No eggs to hide or hunt.  No little feet running and squealing.  No little voices giggling.  No teens or tweens rolling their eyes when we ask them to pose for a photo.  No photos. No grandchildren or children here today.

It has been quiet here today.

We are all staying home.

While, we miss seeing the grands and our children and we miss sharing a feast and fun time with them.  We know that such is the way it is today.  Quiet. Staying home.

You see, today, we are not only celebrating and honoring the sacrifice made for us, we are also honoring the sacrifice asked of us to stay home in hopes of preventing the spread of this dreaded virus.  We are celebrating the health of our family.  We are honoring those who are sacrificing for us so that we might be healthy and stay healthy. 

Mike and I sent treats to the grandchildren and they have shared their thanks and how they have enjoyed them this week.  It is not quite the same as sitting on the porch watching them dash round the front yard as they gather up the colorful treats.  Yet, it is better in some ways because we know that they are safe and healthy in their homes with their parents. 

It has been quiet here today but it has also been a day of rejoicing and celebration for all the blessings we enjoy as a result of the ultimate sacrifice as well as the current sacrifices.

We hope your Easter has been one of celebration and honor and that you and your family are healthy and safe staying home.

Activities

Shortly after Harris started going to Preschool a couple of days per week - well after the crying stopped, he and I had a conversation about what school was like.  He explained to me that they have story time and play time and lunch time and did some activities.

I asked a bit more about these activities and was informed that it is when you make stuff and sit and do stuff and paint stuff. School activities. 

Soon preschool took a break and Harris was home again with his mom.  One day when I talked to him on the phone, he let me know that he and his mother had done an activity the day before.  You see, he had a newborn sister and I think mother needed a bit of quiet, still time out of the little fellow. 

I asked Harris about it and he informed me that he did a color sorting activity.  Then, when I talked to his mother, she let me know that she might run out of fresh ideas because he didn't like to repeat the same activity.  So, I made a suggestion and Harris wanted to know if I had some activities. 

Well, tradition continues and now that we are staying at home, like I shared yesterday, Harris is doing a little school work and Linley now is doing some activities, since she is at home from preschool as well.

I learned that one of her favorite activities is a color sorting one.  Again, tradition continues.  Only, this time, the color sorting activity doesn't involve little cars and colored stickers.  This time Linley is sorting colored cereal pieces.

Look at that little genius!  I told her mother that my grandchildren were destined to be true geniuses!  After I got the photo above, I got another message from her mother:

And then there were a couple of photos.

And a message from her mother, "true talent!"

I think she inherited that talent from me!

The Rules of the Classroom

I am an educator and my family knows that I put a lot of stock in reading, writing, and learning.  I also know that keeping the learning going while we are staying at home is very, very difficult.

I've checked in on a pretty regular basis to make certain that everybody is doing alright.  I've inquired about everyone's health and that of their extended family and asked about their food and toilet paper supply.

Sometimes I'll ask about their continued education but lots of times I let that go because...well...we are staying at home.  School and learning is hard enough to do when you go to school and learn.  So, when everybody is home and they have to be home ALL THE TIME, some things have to be let go at times and that is all right.

I checked in this morning with my son's family.  I hadn't talked to Jessica in a while and I cannot even imagine being at home ALL THE TIME with a six-year-old-boy who is full-of-energy and a two-year-old girl who is two years old.  I remember those years of having two littles at home with you and it was probably some of the hardest work I ever did.

Anyway, I digress.  Knowing that school is usually a part of the morning routine, I asked if they were having school this morning even though it was Good Friday.  Jessica assured me that they were and reiterated with, "We tend to work better when there is structure and a routine."  I get it. Rambunctious.  Busy.  Boisterous. Bouncing. I get it.

Linley was working on one of her favorite activities - color sorting - but that is another story for another time.  What I was intrigued by is that Jessica informed me that she was really learning a lot from Harris and the curriculum that he has as a kindergartner.  She said they'd had to Google something yesterday to be sure they had gotten it correct.  But that's not all!

She also informed me that when they started using the bonus room as the school room, Harris let her know that they needed some rules.  He liked the rules they had in his classroom at school.  So, he wrote them out and asked her to post them on the wall.

I kind of expected rules like Be Nice To Your Sister or Do What Mama Says.  These rules were all business, though.  The rules involve Hand Signals.  You see, if you need to go to the bathroom, you hold up one finger.  If you are in need of a wipe to clean something off your work area, you hold up two fingers.  Hold up three fingers if you need a pencil.  Four fingers signifies that you need some water.  If you have a question, hold up five fingers.

Jessica let me know that she has a difficult time remembering the rules.  She sees Harris following the rules and sometimes she is attending to Linley and her activity and cannot see the rules posted on the wall to clarify the difference between two and three or something like that and it is a struggle for her.

She sent me a photo of the rules and this message: "Just in case you and Mike need some rules around there."  I think I would be lost in keeping up with the rules, too.  I tried to text her back but I was laughing so hard I could hardly see my keyboard.  I said that maybe I just needed to start waving my hands in the air!

She said, "That should cover it!"

Early Delivery!

Since we are staying home, our family Easter gathering has been called off and we are hoping for a family get-together later this year.  I'm not sure if an egg-hunt will be involved but I am sure giggling and high-jinks will be if everybody can come together because that is just what happens when the ten grands and their parents are together.

We turned to online order and delivery for the treats this year.  When I was ordering, the companies were telling me that delivery might take longer for non-essential items.  Well, evidently chocolate coated cookies are deemed essential for some of the grands.  Abby Lee seems to concur with the early delivery!

By the way, I think one of the big brothers is enjoying one of the treats in the background as well!  I tried to capture the looks on their faces by getting a screenshot from the video. They all seemed to think the treats were a good deal.

Dare Devils on Wheels!

We always love getting photos of the grands!  Each of the random photos below brings a smile to my face every single time I see them.

Every.

Single.

Time!

My first thought when I saw this one of Levy with his helmet, elbow and knee pads, and sporting Spiderman ensemble from head to toe made me smile.  Doesn't he look like a dare-devil.  We would have called him Evel Knievel back in the day.  Bicycle training wheels and all, this five-year-old looks like a wheeled sport to be reckoned with!

Then, there was this guy!  At the top Easton was shown riding his dinosaur four-wheeler with superhero knee and elbow pads, dino helmet, and swinging a badminton racket to heard goats out of the yard and back into the pasture.  The close-up just does not do justice to this dare-devil's speed and flexibility with those scampering goat kids!

Big Stuff!

I am ever so grateful that our children share pictures of what is going on in their lives.  I'm so thankful that they frequently send us videos and pictures to share windows into the lives of our grandchildren.  I think I am ever so much more grateful lately than ever before.

This past week we got some photos which shared some big stuff that is going on in Bryan and his family's life.  While they are somewhat accustomed to being at home more than most folks because Bryan and Jessica both work from home, the break from school and preschool and church and just getting out and about has still been a bit of a strain on them, I think.

Rainy days which keep the littles inside are always tough for children who thrive outdoors.  So, when Jessica sent this photo of Linley with her bowl of pop-pop this week, we couldn't help but laugh out loud.  Mike also said he wished he had a big ole bowl just like that and could sit beside her in front of the TV and munch all afternoon long during a rainy afternoon!  Big stuff for this girl!

Then, at the end of the week when the skies were blue and the temperature was warm, we got photos from Bryan sharing a bit about the fishing trip that he and Harris made, we had another opportunity to smile and enjoy.

I love the serious look on Harris's face and how he is holding his mouth just right to get the job done.  In the moving shot, we could hear Harris say, "Oh Gosh!" and when we saw the fish, we could certainly see why!

It seems like another boy was pretty excited about their haul as well!

After seeing the message below, I really wish I had seen the action shot of Jessica!  I recall a time when she and Bryan were visiting on a football Saturday and Mike fried fish.  She showed us how much she liked fried fish that day and I'll bet she got her fill at this old-fashioned fish fry as well!

Big stuff!

Random Sunday Musings

We've been staying home and that is just fine by me.  Oh, I get up and wash my face and put on make-up and tame my hair each morning.  But, I'm sleeping in because my commute to work is so much shorter.  You see, I just walk over to the little desk at the window in my bedroom and boot up my laptop and I'm at work. 

School closed for us in early March and I've been working from home ever since.  Actually, I think I'm working longer hours and more focused on my laptop and work than I ever have been before.  I don't get to walk around the school building and visit classrooms.  I don't get to stop in the hallways and chat with teachers.  I just sit and work.  Of course, more of my work is troubleshooting than ever before because more teachers are asking questions and trying to improve their edutech game.  I'm also able to sneak in a little bit of creativity every now and then to collaborate with a teacher to model a suggested way of sharing materials and information.  I'm also involved in lots of virtual meetings - lots more meetings than I have been all year long!  These meetings are a way for people to share information and get up-to-date on the latest happenings in distance learning.  Plus, they are a vital way for educators to stay connected while staying apart.

With the nice sunshiney weather, I've also been outside a bit.  I've lounged in a front porch rocker reading a couple of Saturdays in a row.  I've spent a couple of afternoons driving the ATV around and picking up limbs and trash.  I've strolled to the mailbox and back a couple of times.

I've also spent lots of time reading, listening to newscasts, listening to podcasts, and generally trying to stay informed.  I'm disheartened at times and overwhelmed at times and heart-warmed at times and awestruck at times by the things I'm learning and seeing.

It almost feels like we've stepped back in time a bit to the days I've read about back in the 1940s.  It has been suggested that we wear masks when we go out to pick up essentials just like back then.  So, my daughter has been crafting them from scraps of fabric for local dentist offices and walk-in clinics.

She sent me the instructions she used and adapted for crafting the ones she's made. 

Like Mr. Rogers suggested, I've been looking for the helpers.  I thought this suggestion was a great one that is really easy to do and will probably do this for our local hospital, doctor's offices, firefighters, grocery workers, etc.

One of my favorite bloggers put together a wonderful post with Tips for Sheltering in Place and I certainly encourage folks to take her tips to heart. 

Sometimes when I'm overwhelmed I find that I need to look into or listen to something that is more upbeat or entertaining than all these news blasts and updates.  One thing that I saw suggested this week was to listen to podcasts with positive and entertaining themes.  I listened to this one yesterday and it really made me smile. Katie Couric has a newsletter called Wake-Up Call which shares news blurbs that are really just enough information but also has some upbeat information as well.

One of the suggestions that I see posted over and over is to reach out and give someone a call or have a video call with them.  Just check in and see how they are doing and ask about their family.  I always think of my Daddy when I see something like that because he was a master at such things.  He loved to chat and would pick up the phone and give folks a call just to touch base and chat.  Of course, that is one of the things I miss about him most because he would touch base with me almost each and every day.  So, I've tried to do that with our children by calling and video calling periodically.  They are pretty good at sending photos of things the children are doing or text messages of funny little things they say and that really peps up the spirits of Mike and me.

I know that I am fortunate and staying at home is pleasant for me in my nice home in the country where I've got plenty of room to roam around or nice spaces to just sit and chill.  I hope that others are finding those spaces of their own and taking this time to really look at how our world is changing and seeking out ways to make it a change for the better in a random, personal sort of way.

Patience

I've been bugging Mike to put a new top on the table for the front porch.  A few months back a strong wind storm did a number on it and broke the glass top that was on it. 

Mike doesn't have quite the urgency that I do for the project.  So, I'm having to be patient. 

Patience is hard for me.

Yesterday, when I had finished working from here at home, I hopped on the ATV with Mike and we went for a ride.  We rode all over our ponderosa and even a little bit of the neighbors'.  We wound up back at Pop's barn where I checked out the progress of the seedlings he has been nurturing.

Then, we eased around the side of the barn to go close up the greenhouse for the evening to keep the new seed trays from getting too cool during the overnight temperatures.  I noticed something as we rode by the seedlings again.  Do you see it?

I think my exact words to Mike were, "I like how you crafted that plant table."

He responded, "Now, honey, that is a fine example of some redneck-carpentry there!"

So, today, when I mentioned how nice it would be if I had a new top on that table on the front porch so I have a place to set my coffee cup, he began to tell me how he would be glad to bring me one of those red plastic tubs and some different pieces of lumber to stack upon it.

Somehow, I'm learning that patience might be easier than I thought.

March Reflections

I get a newsletter from Emily P. Freeman each month.  I must have signed up while following her blog sometime back.  I like that she shares books she's reading, interesting posts she's read, and some reflections for the month.

This month she let three questions guide her own reflection and encouraged readers to do the same.  So, as one of her readers, I'm going to share my reflection this way as well.

1. What was one moment of joy in March?
2. What was a moment that surprised me in March?
3. What's one thing I want to leave behind moving into April?

I love questions like that and the reason I do is because they provoke thought.  I'm in the process of writing about books that provoke thought but that has turned into more of an epistle than a blog post. So, I've put it on hold for a while to do a little bit of...thinking.

1. Moment of joy:

I was kind of surprised as I sat and thought about all that had happened this month and all that had not.  I had so many different things that brought me joy.  I guess I will go with one of the first ones that was W-A-Y back at the beginning of the month.  A little girl whose name is Joy brought me joy as she does lots of other people.  

She is the youngest of three girls in her family and her older sisters are several years older than her.  So, she has been watching her older sisters go off to school all of her life.  She has seen them dress up to participate in school spirit days, Halloween dress-up contests, book character dress-up days, and sports team uniform donning times.  Her mother is like her mother before her and her grandmother before that and the children always pose in their finery or their wackiness so that the moment can be memorialized for years ahead.  

This year she is officially a school-girl attending Pre-K and her school had dress-up days.  So, it was her turn to shine.  They wore school spirit attire.  They wore wacky, weird get-ups.  She was so excited to have the opportunity to participate and dress up she did.  She was wild and wacky and full of spirit and a Flucy Luci like her book character, Fancy Nancy.  The top photo is her the night before book character day when she dressed like Fancy Nancy.  The next photo is her on wacky, tacky day.  I'd be willing to bet that there were few folks who were as wacky as that girl!  She and her mother planned her ensembles well in advance and she made sacrifices like sleeping in the hair curlers and getting up early to add pipe cleaners to the wacky hairdo.  All of these efforts were worth it, though, because it brought Luci Joy lots of joy.

I know for a fact that her pleasure in dressing up brought others joy as well.  My heart smiles every time I see these photos of her reveling in the fun rites of passage that children go through.  I also know that on wacky tacky day, this little pipe cleaner hairdo, mismatched socks and shoes, and bright patterned clothing wearing girl went skip-hopping along with her mother into the grocery store after school and many other people got to experience joy in her school spirit and her pure joy of self-expression!

2. A moment that surprised me:

Narrowing down to one moment of surprise for this month was truly a feat! What a month of surprises and changes was this one - not only for me but for everyone in our world today.  

I think the moment that surprised me most, however, was when I acknowledged a feeling of contentment.  I think it has become the norm in our culture for us to always want more and always need to do more and always feel there is more.  Yet, during this time of staying at home, (For the record, today marks more than twenty days of staying at home for me.) I came to realize a couple of weeks ago that I am really content.  I don't feel the need for more.  I'm satisfied with my station in life.  I'm satisfied with my home.  I'm satisfied with what I have accomplished professionally.  I'm content to just be as I am.  

I didn't feel the need to apologize for sitting around on the porch one sunny day last week and reading a book.  I don't feel the urge to do something productive like cleaning baseboards or sweeping out corners just because I have the time off from work. I am just content to be.  I don't ever recall feeling that phenomenon before.

3. One thing I want to leave behind:

Boy! This is also a difficult one to hem up!  Aren't there so many things about this particular month of March that we all would like to leave behind?  Aren't there so many things that we have already left behind during this particular month of March?

On the day that it was announced our school district would be dismissed for a long weekend to provide time for deep cleaning because a parent had visited one of our schools and had tested positive for COVID-19, a different mindset crept into me.  

I would look at people differently.  I would look at places differently.  I watched for details that I had never watched before.  I felt like I was wearing a cloud over my head and just waiting for the downpour that was going to come upon me.  I kept thinking - what if?

Those feelings began to take over my whole being and I started constantly being on the edge of an anxiety attack.  I was snappier even than usual.  I was more stand-off-ish.  I watched others so very closely.  I would have to remind myself to pause and take a deep cleansing breath.  I would have to breathe deeply and close my eyes to prevent myself from bursting into tears.  It was overpowering.

I want to leave that panicky feeling behind.

As we move forward into April of 2020, I look forward to navigating a new way of life.  I know that we don't just blink our eyes and nod our head or twitch our noses and magically we are transported.  However, I'm ready to move forward and take what March has taught me into this journey that we call life.